Asking for it versus Taking it: Thoughts on expectations and perceptions of “what you deserve”

We live in an age where social media and ultra fast digital communications have bred a culture of instant gratification, providing instant gratification and superficial satisfaction for those who seek it. Despite how “noble” we may think our disciplines or pursuits are, they are not immune to these pitfalls.

I want to take some time to hopefully make you reflect on what it is you want. What do you feel like you’re entitled to? Do you feel as if you deserve it? What do you ask for and what do you deserve? 

20171002_150040.jpgI think it’s important that we clarify what deserve means in this conversation: We have our perceptions of what we think deserve, versus what  we have earned. In the first case, our ego can twist our perception and cause us to misinterpret what it is we think we deserve. In the second case, we allow our efforts and our actions to dictate the fruits that hang in the outcome, without any expectations.

Also realize that there is a difference between asking for something versus taking something. We need to acknowledge a gift with gratitude when awarded. Sometimes a person’s decision to give us something is untied to our expectations of what we deserve or not. A strong egocentric narrative will cause us to manifest these thoughts outwards in “I” statements, like “I deserve…” or “I want…”. It’s pretty damn important that we do not allow this narrative to fester or take over.

We need to rely on our skills to do the talking for us, this means putting our heads down and embracing the grind rather than looking up to make sure someone is watching. Extrinsic recognition of your perceived “hard work” may seem more satisfying, but this is superficial and leaves us doubting the rewards of our labours.

Nothing will be given to you before you deserve it or before the time is right. Stay humble and keep your head down instead of having your hand out.

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